Remaining Steady In The Storm

There is no greater lesson I have learned in my life than “when you go through hard times you find out who you really are and what you are made of.” 

I learned this countless times throughout my childhood where I felt loved but never felt like I quite fit in. I really understood the meaning of this when I lost my mother suddenly when I was 16. And when a year ago I lost my father to cancer and my unborn son to miscarriage in less than a 24 hour period, this quote stood between me and a dark abyss.

Life can be hard. Life can be brutal. Life can be terrifying. But it is in these dark times that we must remember that “this too shall pass”. And just on the other side of now can be a life more beautiful and blessed beyond measure.

~

As the news of the spreading worldwide coronavirus began to snowball over the past few weeks, I found myself trying to remain calm, in a state of information gathering and in a place of preparedness. Yet if I am being honest, of course I became increasingly concerned day by day. By all reports, I am not quite in a population of greatest risk and concern to contract the virus. And if I did unfortunately contract it, by all statistics I am not at highest risk of severe impact (said certainly prayerfully).

I realized what was bringing me the greatest concern was the unknown. How will this affect my everyday? How will it impact my home? How will it impact the lives of my loved ones? Will everyone I know and love be okay? How will it completely change the world around me for now and forever more? So many questions and not a single person in the world has the answers.

~

As tonight’s breaking news updates about the pandemic came in like rapid-fire, despite all my best efforts to remain calm I instantly began to feel like I did when life was hard and I didn’t know what was on the other side of now.

But as I said earlier, one of the greatest lessons I have learned is when you go through hard times you find out who you are and what you are really made of. As I felt my anxiety start to rise tonight, I remembered who I was and all the hard things I had crawled through in my life. Now is not the time to panic. Now is the time to go inward and search for strength because it is there. Now is the time to rely on the person I know I am. I have been through many days in my life where I just couldn’t picture how I could make it through tomorrow, but I somehow did. There is no doubt this will be an uncertain, scary and possibly painful time for myself and us all. And there is no telling how long it will last. But somewhere beyond this time of uncertainty, life can be beautiful and blessed beyond measure.

~

I decided tonight that although I choose to stay aware, informed and as prepared as possible with relation to the current pandemic we are now facing, I will do the things that have time and time again helped me through uncertain times in my life. I will refocus on wellness and how I treat my body. I will double down on my faith in God, it has not failed me. I will refocus on my home, doing what I can to continue to make it my place of safety and refuge. I will commit to reading more often both for personal and professional development. I will recommit to connecting often with family and friends, and thankfully the technology of our times allow us to do so effortlessly. And most importantly I will recite to myself as often as necessary that this too shall pass.

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I know this virus has already caused much personal pain, destruction, heartache and loss of life. That is not lost on me. It is simply heartbreaking. I will keep those affected very personally in my thoughts and prayers always. I will take the necessary precautions to reduce my chances of being impacted myself and affecting those directly around me. And as I see ways I can support my communities and those less fortunate in these uncertain times, I commit to do so.

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This is who I am, created from what I have been through, and this is what I am made of.

This is how I will remain steady in this storm.

~ C ~

This Year…

When you speak an intention into the world, it is incredible the ways in which the world speaks back to you.

The theme of finding identity and being in search of self has come up in various ways for me each of day of this new year.

This is my new year’s resolution.

~ C ~

Preparation

Lately a theme that has been weaving itself throughout my life is preparation. It’s as if I am staring from a 50 thousand foot view of my life and everything occurring now is necessary for the next scene to unfold. Yet unfortunately I can’t see exactly what is going on in that next scene.

I’ll come across online articles, news clips, books or even people that I feel a somewhat weird yet divine connection to. As if I needed to have these particular encounters in preparation for what is next for me.

I wish I knew what was next, but I suppose I’ll find out in due time. In the meantime, I’ll continue being open to the preparation currently taking place in my life.

~ C ~

My Dragonflies

Over the past few weeks I have seen an abundance of dragonflies everywhere. And I mean literally everywhere. At first or second sighting, I didn’t think anything of it. Over time though it appeared as if the dragonflies were practically hovering in my face to ensure I noticed them. Finally after about the tenth sighting in a matter of a few days, I had to pause.

What is going on here?!?

Is it mating season or something?

I know I may sound crazy but is someone or the universe trying to tell me something?

Finally confused and perplexed, I decided to Google the word dragonfly. I was blown away at what I found.

Over time and across many civilizations the dragonfly has been a symbol of change and transformation. Many have believed it to be a sign of deep spiritual, mental and physical growth. It has been well known to symbolize self realization. In many ways it is a sign of rebirth.

Wow. I was speechless.

This truly has been the biggest transformational period of my life. The only thing constant recently has been change for me. I am in every way a different person than I was just eight months ago.

The dragonfly symbolizes my life in this very moment. I don’t know who sent them or why, but I do know that I now welcome the sight of my new little dragonfly friends.

~ C ~