I have been contemplating starting to write again for an incredibly long time. What took me so long, I’m still not sure. Possibly a fear of rejection or that I wouldn’t keep up with it again. Maybe I hesitated because I was afraid I’d say something wrong, offensive or be misunderstood. Being vulnerable is like climbing Everest for me, so I’m sure that too has been playing an equally-sized part. Regardless of the reason, the idea would percolate in my head and heart, however that is where it would remain.
The words “story” and “storytelling” have been smacking me in the face from every direction as of late. It’s honestly beyond comical that I would continuously ask higher powers to show me signs all the time, then proceed to willfully and blatantly ignore all signs presented. What is my purpose? What do I have to share? These are questions I have asked and answers I have been given over and over again.
I’ve always felt I wanted to share my story. The highs, lows, twists, turns and everything in between. It is not that I think I have the most important story to tell. But I believe if I can help one person out there in sharing any one of my stories, it would be worth it all. And finally telling my stories allows me to continue to move forward to the journey that lies ahead.
Today I find peace in knowing that this sharing space is ready for me and I am ready for it. It was there all along patiently waiting for me to return to truly begin my storytelling. Yes I may say something wrong, misunderstood or offensive, but that fear will no longer freeze me. I have always found healing, joy and purpose in writing and I will lean into that. So today is the day I begin this journey again.
~C.A.~
